About My Practice

Our fundamental struggle as humans is this: how to be connected, vulnerable, open, and trusting. We long for relationships; we are wired for secure connection as our greatest resource against life's challenges. Yet, relationships can also be the source of our deepest pain, distress, and hardship. I walk alongside my clients as they grapple with what it means to be human: how to belong and be an individual, how to risk and protect, how to be open, vulnerable, and responsive.  

Relationships are undeniably complex and challenging. When conflict, disconnection, or misunderstanding arises with those we love most, we all experience distress. Our protective strategies activate – we shut down, criticize, perform, go numb, or escalate the situation. We become vulnerable to repeating the same old dance, speaking different relational languages we can't seem to reconcile, and fighting about the same things repeatedly. Over time, this can breed feelings of hopelessness and frustration.

My role is to offer a map for making sense of what's happening within each person and what underpins the recurring patterns you find yourselves in. Together, we slow down these cycles to uncover the emotions and unmet needs for connection that drive your interactions. We all have different ways of managing relationship upsets, dealing with emotions, and navigating moments of disconnection, stress, and pain. We are all beautifully imperfect people, arriving with our vulnerabilities, wounds, limiting beliefs, protectors, and survival strategies, all striving to create secure connections with our important people. You don’t have to grapple with this alone; getting what you need is possible.  

Whether you're seeking individual or couples therapy, know that I'm in your corner. I live by the quote, "People won't care how much you know until they know how much you care." Before offering guidance, I prioritize connecting with you, learning about your struggles, and understanding how I can best serve your goals. I also want you to feel confident that my work is grounded in well-researched, evidence-based models, neuroscience, and the science of attachment. Any tools, interventions, or information I offer are tailored to your specific needs.

While I serve as the guide through the therapeutic process, I am invested in you building your own internal working maps for getting your needs met, both individually and relationally. Together, we can build upon your innate strengths, resources, and resiliency so you feel confident and clear about the change you are creating, retain ownership of your successes, and trust that you can lean upon yourself and each other in future moments of need.  

Along the way, you may uncover experiences that have sent inaccurate messages about who you are, what is available to you, and what you can expect from others. Where you have developed limiting beliefs, protections, or relational strategies that no longer fit, we can create space to explore, process, and heal. My goal is for you to release what holds you back, freeing you to live with more confidence, security, and openness in the present, long after therapy has ended.

Couples Therapy Focus

I have a deep passion for couples work and founded my practice, Pacific Couples Center, to provide specialized support in this area. I believe that a distinct set of skills and a focused approach are essential for effectively guiding couples through their unique challenges and towards lasting change.

I specialize in working with couples on a wide range of issues, including: relationship patterns, communication, emotional intimacy, repairing fractures of trust and security, post-partum and early parenting demands, life transitions, external stressors (such as job insecurity, lack of community, financial concerns, career demands, and wider family dynamics), changing relationship dynamics, shifting into new levels of commitment, issues from childhood, and identity.

Although these are common challenges, I understand that how they manifest will be unique to you and your partner. Therefore, before determining the best path to create the change you long for, we will explore your individual and collective experiences. I take the time to learn about your family and relationship histories, social life, physical health, spiritual life, and values.

I'm interested in all the ways that life has shaped both of you, how this influences the ways you show up for each other, and where the misses are taking place. I can help you uncover the roots of your differences and then help you restructure the ways you connect, one interaction at a time. My goal is to help you become softer and more open, as well as accessible and responsive to one another, and to find ways to repair and find your way back to each other when a miss inevitably arises.  

As a systemically oriented therapist, I understand that we are all influenced by our internal world, our relationships, and the world around us. Whatever concerns you face as a couple, I'm here to help you find ways to lean on each other through moments of stress, develop a common language for dealing with emotions and conflict, deepen your emotional connection, and repair effectively when conflict occurs.

During our early work, I will help you track and organize your cycle and then delve into the emotional and relational roots of your dynamic. I frequently work with partners prone to a pursue-withdraw pattern, where one partner seeks connection, validation, and responsiveness, while the other withdraws to reduce tension, prevent conflict, or avoid criticism or attack. I can help you both build a deeper understanding of your different and often opposing strategies for managing connection, stress, and conflict, as well as the inevitable misses in connection that can occur.

I can then guide you, moment-to-moment, in changing this dance, helping you find more effective strategies that build connection, security, and intimacy. And where there are old hurts and wounds that need healing, I can walk you through the process of repair, so you can access a renewed sense of hope and confidence for the future of your relationship.  

Therapeutic Approach

I primarily utilize the Relational Life Therapy model (RLT) in my work with couples, an evidence-based model that offers a deeper dive for couples through the process of restructuring their relationship and communication, with a focus on creating deeper understanding and lasting change. However, my approach is integrative. I also draw upon Family Systems, Attachment, Narrative, Psychodynamic, and Existential orientations. Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a core component of my work, providing a framework for deeper exploration and fundamental change in all aspects of life. I have advanced training in the Gottman Method as well. This integrative approach allows me to tailor my work to your specific needs, offer flexibility and responsiveness to whatever may arise, and help you reach your goals as effectively and efficiently as possible.