Working with couples is some of the most challenging and rewarding work we do, and it’s easy to feel stuck when you’re caught in the crossfire of a couple’s protective strategies. You see the same patterns on a loop—often that classic pursue-withdraw dance where one partner pushes for connection while the other pulls away—and you know there’s more going on than the surface-level fight.

My role in consultation is to offer you a map to make sense of it all; together, we can slow down these cycles to uncover the unmet needs for connection and the core emotions that are really driving their interactions. My approach is integrative and incorporates a trauma-informed lens, my training in mediation and dispute resolution, and my doctoral work in clinical sexology to provide a comprehensive perspective on intimacy, communication, and conflict.

The goal is to help you track and organize the cycle, get to the emotional roots of the dynamic, and then guide you in helping your clients change that dance, moment by moment, so they can become more accessible and responsive to each other. I offer this support both virtually and in-person, with options for half-hour and hour-long consultations to fit your needs.

If you’re looking for a collaborative space to get perspective and feel more confident in guiding couples back to each other, I’d be happy to talk. For those located in the Los Angeles area and interested in more collaborative, ongoing support, you can also inquire about our couples therapist consultation group. Please reach out to info@reginaabayev.com to schedule a consult or to inquire about group consultation.